all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
