so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
