Cold hands, warm shart.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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