I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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