There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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