Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
