i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
