Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize