In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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