Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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