two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
