Just mADE A PArabola og urine
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
