I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
