Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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