I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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