Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
