Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
