I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
