Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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