This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
