also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
