Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
