Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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