Life is so much better after having sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
