Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
