Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
