is your mom at the bar?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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