i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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