Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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