so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
