The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
