My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think I won the penis lottery.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
