Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize