I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
