I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Two words: nipple clamps
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