This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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