No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
