If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
