She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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