just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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