I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
