drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
