capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
