I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
