Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize