think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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