wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
