If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
