Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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