allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
