He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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