how can u be prego again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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