If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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