Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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