She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
