Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
