Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
this is an emotional support booty call
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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